Sideswiped: Estradot & me

Hormonal bitch at the edge of a cliff, context is everything, NZ tree of the year, carbonated drinks are out and family movie night in French.

All we have left is the glue grime.

Mum grumpy? Your wife gone a bit bonkers? You sister wearing a tank top in the middle of winter?

Or maybe let’s not be all jokey, jokey about a medication shortage that profoundly impacts whether women of a certain age can function without swinging from homicidal to utterly depleted?

You know them, the invisible people with uteruses, maybe with grey roots and glasses, that get shit done - everything from dishing out cuddles, contributing to GDP and clean up that pale golden splash to the left of the toilet bowl. The group of humans you aren’t likely to see around your workplace these days because, as some young fella explained to me, “who wants to work with you mum?”. Yeah, that human.

Some of us are not coping. What gives? On top of the usual load of war, right-wing ideology, freinds with tumours and deciding wtf to have for dinner…

There are no ESTRADIOL patches.

More than two decades ago a major study challenged the safety of menopause hormones, freaking out millions of women and their doctors. Another study came along and said, for women under 60, the it’s safe as, so go for it.

Demand for Estrdiol patches in New Zealand has more than doubled.

Hence the shortage.

It’s a global thing, apparently.  It might get better in 2025.

Another thing we need to protest about.

I’d go on a hunger strike like the Shortland Street guy who did until his jeans needed a belt, but comfort eating is all I’ve got.

A walk and a placcard would be better than the self-sabotage route and just stop cold turkey, right? That would be a very cut-your-nose-off-to-spite-your-face mode of adresssing the problem.

Yet, that’s what I did. Frustrated by the shortage and a bit of belt-tightening before the prescription charges come in.  

Ha, ha… coalition government you are not making $5 a month out of me!

It did not go well. I’m lucky to still have a husband. Here are the stats:

Ugly crying was up 40%.

Personal Hygiene down 35%.

Brain fog rose a staggering 58%. “You know that actor, whatshisname from Shaun The Sheep with Zombies?”

Road rage up 30%. (Son warned me about reactionary bird flipping on the roads of West Auckland, “someone could pull out a gun!”. He’s not wrong.)

Karen-ing increased by a staggering 85%. I made the mistake of complaining on my community Facebook page about a petrol-powered water blaster starting up at 8am on a Sunday morning. It was deafening. And council says you can’t make that kind of racket on a Sunday. I was hoping for an apology, but I got “trying to degrade a hard-working business in this financial climate is pretty amateur” from the homeowner. (I quit the page, so no more info for me about trees coming down or suspicious brown people in Hi-Viz parked on public roads).

Maybe Karen’s are just women who have not been adequately prioritised by their governments drug buying agencies?

The newly appointed head of Pharmac, ex-game show host Paula Bennett, needs to front on this. When she gets a break from podcasting.

Napier GP Samantha Newman gets it.

“I feel an innate responsibility that I need to stand up for my patients, who have shared their stories with me. Who are not the same people I first met when they started hormone treatment. For those who are now back at work, now in happy relationships and who are present and enjoying their children. For those who estradiol has given them their life back, or for those who got it stop them falling off the cliff.”

She says posted this really helpful information. Take charge of things Lady Parts, like you always do.

But it’s the pharmacists I feel sorry for. Imagine. fronting to menopausal women to say they don’t have any patches, OR that they only have high dose patches and you’ll have to cut them in half (and yes, they are insanely difficult to prise the stickiness from the plastic that way) OR that you can’t get repeats and have to go to your doctor every month to prescribe your maximum allowance of EIGTH funded patches.

Now wonder I gave up, bit the bullet and got the unfunded stuff. But I shouldn’t have to, and neither should you.

Come on, I poured my guts out for that. Stop freeloading and subscribe for free whydontcha?

Racism with context

Watch this video. And then again. What you’ll see is a young woman’s graduation, ruined by her father storming the stage to push the school superintendent off stage.

But why? A Reddit rumour says he was angry with the Superintendent for not dealing with his daughter’s bully, others say she was the bully and got suspended.

Without confirmation from the school the great unwashed on social media are calling it racism. The only explanation given by Matt Eddy (49) is that he didn’t want Superintendent Briggs to touch her, i.e. shake his daughter’s hand. So not an unreasonable conclusion to draw.

But it’s not the first time this kinda stuff has reared its ugly head at this rural Wisconsin school. A photo of boys from Baraboo High School - a prom night snap feat. a Nazi salute — went viral in 2019.

There was nationwide outrage — calls for suspensions or expulsions from school. On the face of it, seems reasonable. But here’s some context.

The photographer said he asked them to wave, and the young men responded with the Sieg Heil salute. Young and dumb. One said he was mocking the photographer’s request.

The real person with questionable behaviour was the photographer, a parent of one of the students in the picture, who thought there was nothing wrong with posting it online.

Like all the unthinking things we did in the 1980s, this too could’ve stayed out of the public eye.

Pastor Dan Gunderson told The Guardian the students are being accused of an intent they did not have:

“There’s a desire to have a narrative of small-town America being impacted by the presidency of Donald Trump and neo-Nazism and antisemitism and white supremacy,” he said.

Their salutes were a prank than an endorsement of fascism, he says He sees them as victims, with their futures tarnished by accusations of sympathy for white supremacy, when it was just a stupid mistake.

Make them apologise and write something after watching The Tattooist of Auschwitz.

But with this latest racial storm brewing in the town of 12,000, there appears to be very little context.

Today’s Choice Links

Tree reality: “A lone rātā that appears to be striding across the landscape has taken gold in New Zealand’s tree of the year,” announces The Guardian. The 32-metre tall tree, near Karamea took out the top gong because of its resemblance to one of JRR Tolkien’s sentient tree-like Ents. Lake Wanaka’s willow will be gutted.

Carbonation is too much: I had a vodka with sugar free Powerade the other day, because I hate fizz (and wine is too strong, calorific and sulphite-filled) then I googled that sentiment and woah! Apparently, kids in the 2010s, who are now coming of legal drinking age, grew up with flavoured waters as the norm. Generation Z is simply not as conditioned to carbonation. Entrepreneurs are thinking: “What about a lightly boozy water that could be consumed over long stretches of time by a beach, on a boat, or at a music festival?”

Bookworm: Trailer for a new Kiwi Adventure Comedy film which sees Elijah Wood back in New Zealand’s high country, but this time he’s not a Hobbit, but a absent father and a magician trying to win back his estranged neuro-spicy adventurous daughter, by helping her find in search of the mythical Canterbury black panther. It looks blimmin’ gorgeous.

Being young in the Tik Tok age? No thanks.

Are young het women are giving up of relationships? One twentysomething woman told The Cut that men are more interested in “getting shit-faced in New York City every weekend” than in committing to a relationship. A woman in her 30s also said men have become more politically conservative, with an online network of men’s-rights activists who want to “turn guys against women.”

But also, some women who complained about being single, had high expectations, particularly financial ones, for potential partners.

@girl_on_couchCan someone make this into an actual song plz just for funzies

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This Tik Toker is taking the piss, but the lyrics resonated with millions of TikTok users and critics argue financial security in these troubled times is no laughing matter. Finance Guy is just the next shift to the right, following TikTok’s “tradwife” and “stay-at-home girlfriend” trends, which also glamorise a return to traditional gender roles and stereotypes. And once you have ceded power in that way your partner has the economic advantage and you are especially vulnerable.

Alternatives to “ladies and gentlemen”

I’m not a pronoun declare-er, mostly because I think it is corporate gender-washing, but I do like to show my allyship in other ways. Like this post of more gender neutral (and amusing) introduction alternatives. Take your pick.

Rob reckons Shakespeare had it right. “Friends, Romans, Countrymen…”

History teacher Eldritch Millennial lists the things he has opened my class with: “Good morning my Brave Little Toasters” “Good morning nerds” “Good day elder children” “Morning guys, gals, and non-binary pals” “Sup kinder”.

Liz believes if you declaim it with enough flair (like a circus ringmaster) almost any two nouns work, but my faves are WELCOME LOVERS AAAAAND FIGHTERS! WELCOOOOOME DREAMERS AND SCHEMERS!

Karen had a Japanese language instructor who would address the students as “minasen” which simply means “everyone” …”the Japanese version of “y’all”, if you will. I think it’s perfect.”

A Cornish philosopher has a serious one: "One and All" It has a similar grandeur to "Ladies and Gentlemen", but without any of the gendered or classist nonsense, it's pure, inclusive yet still feels old fashioned and dramatic.

“Holes and poles! Welcome!”

“Good day colleagues and future sacrifices."

Greetings mortals/Greetings carbon-based life forms

A thespian says a stage manager used to use, “Ladles and jelly-spoons, and friends beyond the binary”

I’ve always been a fan of “Theydies and gentlethems” but I know some people don’t vibe with my autistic sense of humour.

A friend in med school and I used to say “no friends, we only have colleagues and nemeses”

I prefer "greetings, plebs."

From Doctor Who, although not exactly not-gendered: "Ladies, gentlemen and variations there upon"

And for when you leave a room?

Shark De Triomphe

A shark living in the Seine River?

Sharks have been found in England’s Thames and some shark species can navigate freshwater or transition from rivers to oceans and back, and dwindling habitats mean some species have evolve rapidly to fit into new ecosystems.

Yeah, nah. You gotta believe the scientists Wayne Brown; there is an Olympic triathlon event taking place there in 24 hours!

It is mayoral policy the world over to prioritise water sports over shark warnings.

Netflix’s French thriller Under Paris is a winner:

Variety: “director Xavier Gens (“Lupin”) plays it straight — there’s no winking at the crowd or so-bad-it’s-good posturing, just killer set-pieces and a firm understanding of the fact that the best creature features are those in which you see the creature as little as possible.”

Watch it if you enjoy ‘sharks being jumped’.