Sideswiped: Laughing while...
Fuck, Marry, Kill the coalition version, Mad as a meat axe kiwi sayings and a snowflake takes Tasmanian art to court.
Artist Roxana Hall sells these wonderful feminist art prints. Buy me one for Christmas please someone!
Choices, choices
To the un-meme-savvy of this juvenile traditionally sexist game, read below:
You have three choices. Who would you rather have sex with, which one they would rather marry and which one they would kill*. The rules included the important stipulation that the person you chose to bang, would only be once.
In 2020 hostile work environment lawsuit against $9 billion hedge fund Advent Capital alleged among other things that male employees of the company "played the juvenile game 'f--k, marry, kill.'
But the game has evolved from there, appearing in Succession (Roman plays with Jamie and Karl while being held hostage) and we are doing the 2024 NZ coalition government version.
I proposed this question to a few of my friends and got some interesting replies.
My first respondent answered it like she’d already thought it through. Marry Winston (*because he’s statistically most likely to die first), kill Luxon and shag Seymour, because “he’s young and could wear a mask”. Right-e-o then.
“Can’t I bury all three?” asked the second respondent but I told her no that wasn’t the game. When pushed admitted a micro-fetish for pirates and cowboys so went with boffing Winston, then refused to engage further.
The third took the question seriously and took her time to answer — chopping and changing her choices (because ADHD). Finally, she declared she would marry Luxon, because she would get half his property in the divorce she would file straight after the ceremony. She would kill* Winston and have intercourse with Seymour, because it wouldn’t take long.
Amusingly, she tried the game on her husband. “He didn’t understand how to play and was a little too quick to answer, “fuck Judith Collins”,” she said.
* Not a real threat, humour satire only.
One Weird Cake
Made old kiwi sayings
The members of Old Memories NZ having been sharing old sayings and some are right pearlers.
When dad was leaving the house and not taking me with him, I would always ask, "where are you going?" Dad would say without looking back, "I'm off to see man about a dog". I'd sit in the driveway waiting for him to come back, expecting him to bring me home a puppy.
Good thinking 99… (From 60s TV show Get Smart, 99 was the lady agent)
Mad as a meat axe.
You're as slow as a wet wig.
Everything’s Hunky Dory. (It’s Algood, my bro)
Rattle your dags. (Hurry up for farmers)
Bob’s your uncle. (Said to conclude a set of simple instructions or when a result is reached)
My mother would say, if things weren't getting done. 'This won't get the pigs to market'.
Home James and don’t spare the horses! (a humorous way of exhorting the driver of a vehicle to drive home quickly.as if you had a chauffeur)
My dad used to call a mouth a ‘cake hole’! Shut your cake hole.
Happy as Larry had my daughter confused, so she Googled it. Larry was a Victorian boxer, who never lost so was happy.
Stop your crying or I'll give you something to cry about. (Veiled threat of smack)
Beg your pardon Mrs Arden, there’s kittens in your garden, eating mutton chops.’ I can hear my mother saying it. She was born in 1912.
For crying out loud! I still say it. Much preferable to for fuck’s sake
What’s for tea Mum? “Pigs tits and parsley sauce”.
He doesn't know if he's Arthur or Martha. (In a state of confusion)
Toodle pip. (Goodbye)
As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. My mother-in-law used to say this when asked how old she was.
Find somewhere else to listen to your podcast on
The hand of big tech has been interfering with most media around the world, but there is something you can do to help out the smaller players. At least for podcasts.
Don’t listen to them on Spotify.
According to Alex Sujong Laughlin on Defector, Spotify is replicating what Facebook and Twitter has done in digital media just a few years prior, in terms of attempted to own the entire lifecycle of podcast content, from creation to monetizing to consumption.
Like buying your books from a local indie bookseller or supporting local farmers or even reading deeper than the first three sponsored Google search results, living and consuming (food, clothing, art, information) in a way that preserves some amount of choice and integrity sometimes requires being OK with friction. And that friction extends to the creators and media companies, too. It’s easy to record, upload, and publish podcast episodes from directly inside the Spotify for Podcasters system. They’ll even help you sell ads and make money! But what you give up is wide distribution of your work. It also means fewer technical hurdles when you publish and more data for prospective advertisers. It means less ownership over the thing you create and the relationships that flow from that.
For podcast listeners who don’t want to see a monopoly overtake the audio industry, embracing friction looks like downloading an independent podcast app, like Pocket Casts or Overcast and re-subscribing to the podcasts you want to support.
This is a good wrap of how private tech has dominated.
Art becomes politics, literally
A work of art in Tasmania’s Mona gallery that offered a Ladies Lounge exclusively for women became a hot topic after a man who “felt excluded” took the work to court — and won.
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I thought the way it worked was they get to Fuck most of us, marry a few of their donors and no doubt a few of the most vulnerable will die over the winter.
Your Gran would say " Home James and don't spare the horses " whenever we had been out and heading home in the car. I believe it referred to the days of the horse and cart - where the driver used the whip to make the horses run fast !
Mum x