Sideswiped: Rhymes with..
MP pie promoter, Billy Joel's B-side resurfaces, 80s dirty wine peak, TVs The Professionals in perfect parody.
A sparkling wine with a reputation. @nofrillthrills writes: “During the 80s dirty wine peak, there were the top 3 cheap $5 or less sparkling wines to get shit faced with, they being Bernardino, Marque Vue ), and Chardon.” Wine Friend’s Yvonne Lorkin retells her first ever alcohol purchase. “Angus Inn bottle store Hastings. Rode there on my 10speed. Put the bottle in a box on my carrier. I have no idea how I passed for legal. Most of it ended up as frothy vom on the laundry room Lino. Hey ho.”
According to nofrillsthrills this 3 litre beauty made by Cooks Wine Company Ltd “has been a popular Goonbag white wine for decades, but it's peak era was the the late 80s/early 90s.” Goonbag? I am being told it was also called a Riot Pack and that Raro and cask wine was New Zealand’s first cocktail… and at the end of the night one lucky punter would get the Goonbag pillow.
You can still buy a cask of Cooks Chasseur for $30 and I bet it tastes like $7.50 a bottle. But don’t take my word for it; here’s an review from student mag Critic with a casually sexist, beautifully awkward metaphor.
Ring the wedding bells; I’m getting married. That’s right, I’ve found the one. Well, kind of. I don’t mean she’s as sexy as tequila or as good in bed as Jägermeister. She’s a far throw from my childhood love (RTDs, I miss you) but I'm a third year now, it’s time to think about settling down. Chasseur Cask Medium White Wine is secure, stable and the one who puts dinner on the table by 6. Sure, dinner’s unseasoned chicken and defrosted peas, but in the pale, yellow kitchen light she lets me make love to her (provided that it’s missionary and I keep my socks on). She’s all that a good goon should be, thrifty and nifty.
Are politicians spokesmodels now?
Tauranga business Patrick’s Pies has won Bakels New Zealand Supreme Pie Awards eight times, so arguably doesn’t need Sam Uffindell’s wide boy endorsement. But pies are everyman food and can humanise those who are perceived as wankers, so...
The simultaneously glorious and atrocious thing about social media is that it never forgets. The comments on this post include: “Did you violently attack the young server to get it?” (56 likes) “He obviously needed some energy after doing his monthly supermarket shop to give his wife a break.” (26 likes)
But the real gold comes further down, when this largely irrelevant stoush ensues:
‘No one understands a woman in her 20s like Billy Joel’
A nearly 50-year-old song by Billy Joel has become a girl anthem for Gen Z’s languor. A listen might help all of us.
“On TikTok, a young woman said she booked a trip to the Austrian capitol because of it; others tattoo the lyrics on their body. “I want to name my child Vienna but everyone says it reminds them of sausage,” reads one comment on a clip where a young woman lip-syncs the tune.
During the song’s crescendo, Joel sings: “Slow down you crazy child / Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while / It’s alright you can afford to lose a day or two.” Good advice in 1977, maybe, but not entirely possible in 2024.
Want to change the feeling of a room. This artwork should do it.
Word up, yo
You may want to eliminate these words from your writing. A new analysis of AI-generated text - measuring which "excess words" started showing up much more frequently in academic abstracts since AI stormed into our life.
The word "delves," and "showcasing" and "underscores" increased in usage. So did "potential" and "findings" and "crucial"
Sure words go in and out of use over time but the study found “such massive and sudden increases were only seen for words related to major world health events: "ebola" in 2015; "zika" in 2017; and words like "coronavirus," "lockdown" and "pandemic" in the 2020 to 2022 period.” Read more here.
TV ephemera
If you’re old enough to remember 70s British TV show, The Professionals, the is classic.
The boot in front of that charity shop picture had me trying to work out what was an arm and what was a leg and it took way longer than it should have to figure it out. Haha.
That was the idea ;)